Smile :)

a "hello" from someone could turn your day just like that! how weird is that?.. Sometimes I wonder, why a person could have that super power to turned our day from soo bad day to daaamn good day only by doing little thing or a little smile ... :) but who cares about the answer, let it happen, it's a good thing anyway.. and all the poeple who live in this earth own that magic,. I am sure!

So guys, lets put the best smile of us ... maybe we can turned someone's day become more meaningful ;) because smile will make us 1000 times looks beutiful ... than ever ..

Have a smiley Wednesday Everyone :)

spread the love <3

-A-

better in time :)

I spend my 3 days holiday to think and learn about what's actually going on with me and this whole "broken heart" situation.. and I eventually got conclusion that, sometimes in life shit happened, you can't expect good sweet beautiful things happen to you everytime. sturggling is part of our life. Problem is there to teach us how to be more wise, and it's also a part of the process for being mature. and GOD will never give us a trouble that we can't handle. So don't stray keep the faith and face the cruel truth, that's what we need to do.

Even it hurts like hell, I simply gotta do it. I have to accept the fact that He won't be 'there' again.. Sometimes I miss all the moments. the only thing I can do is remember and smile along with it..  but at least from him I could feel how daunt it is to be left out without any explanation, how dissapointed it is to put a hope and suddenly it crash just like that.. so in the future I would be more careful with my heart and will never do that to another pereson, because I swear I rather be sick and hospitalized with an infusion in my hand rather than feeling this way..

But overall, I don't hate him.. it's just something I can't do.. He means a lot to me and unfortunately he didn't get that point.. and yah! maybe I failed to show that to him in those period of time we had..

"Nevermind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you two... " - adele

Dear HS, I'll keep you here <3  ...

-A-

It's not Eeasy

Talk is easy, put all your words to action, yeah, there comes the trouble.. when we talk we are like, wishing and hoping and dreaming... and action is the reality.. so when it comes to reality you know how freaky is that...  No joke, it's really really intimidating..

-A-

Happy Mothers Day

Today, here in Indonesia .. we're celebrating Mother's day..

and I just wanna wish all of mothers a very sepcial Happy Mothers Day..

Especially to My Mommy, Thanks a lot.. words wouldn't even enough to say how grateful I am to be your Daugther... and I'm sorry If I still couldn't be a daugther you've been dreaming of along your life.. but to be honest, deep inside here.. I always want to make you happy and will never let any tears down again from your eyes..

your prayer always means alot to me..

MERCI BEAUCOUP MAMAN

JE T'AIME

-A-

Hectic hours

Monday, Here we go again~

bunch of paper works to get clear off

email to replay, updating to the system

and tracking sheet to be update..

just smile with it.. that's the best thing I could possibly do

...

Have a good hectic hours Everybody!!

All the best

..



Sincerely yours

Sometimes in life, unexpected thing happen... that surprise you, and perhaps left you a big question mark in your head.. you can't control whatever comes toward you.. people always said you need to plan and manage your future. and we did, but who knows what comes after? No body! 

And one thing  I know for sure that no body can control or even plan for it.. "Fall in love" .. yah! sometimes I feel tired talk about this feeling but it seems like it didn't get any less.. 

I told myself  to just be careful and stay as safe as possible from this kind of situation,, but what happen? I couldn't ... never plan, never notice.. just happen! well yeah.. sometimes you just need to admit.. that you can't help it! when you look at someone and realize that that person is actually the best thing that ever happen in your life.. 

at first place, I am not so sure that I could actually passed this moment.. I even about to drop out and break down.. But then, I am glad and nothing I could ask more than, "a mother words".. My Mother told me how to be a whole-hearted.. She told me, everything happens for reason, and if it's meant to be it will be.. :) relieve? yesss! and now, one of the people who believe that "you don't have to own that person to love and to care" is me.. :) ... hmm however, still deep inside here.... 

-A- 

why can't I?

I regret what's happening now.. I never thought I would be in this kind of situation.. I was meant to stay as far as possible for getting myself into this .. but now. looked what you've done to me.. I really hate when people around us didn't know how much it meant to me, and how cruel you are to me.. I've been twisting my mind, think what did I do wrong? I want to put all the blame on you, but my heart's always telling me "it's not fair to do so" ... I hate that apparently you are the one who's comming to me, you're the one who start it... you took my heart in  your hand, playing with it, and now scattered it on the ground..

but still ...

WHY CAN'T I HATE YOU ??

one last cry

I always love this song.. 

but just never thought... I will be in this situation

The Ugly Truth

why the hell TRUTH is always ugly?? always hurt? always intimidating?
TRUTH is a postivre thing, then why it has a very ridiculous bad effect..
sometimes it makes people cry sometimes it cuts people heart into pieces without any cureness for it.. I mean, isn't truth suppose to have a good side effect? .... well people said in the end yess.. but before it comes, yaah we need to deal with those creepy day, those creepy night,..  so yah

THAT'S THE FREAKING UGLY TRUTH...

heart-said

"You took my emotions and scattered them on the ground So hard to just pick up, and move on with life, again"

 

-BSB-

 

 

 

 

I know it's not normal, when I realised ..

I could hold on to someone like you for this long...

even there is a very strong reason to leave you..

 

......

 

and I just wish, one day you'll realise..

Saturated

I've got nothing else to say..

If I could measure the level..

I would be over the top of the limitation

worst, I have no idea when should I end this situation...

If I were a timer bom, I probably would blast in any second...

Mownday :D

Oh! another start... after a short end!.. why is it monday seems come faster than any other days?? actually we've been dealing with it for so long.. but back then when we were young, when everything seems fun to do.. days are just days.. But now, since we grown up, we get to know with problems and drama in life and those sprinkle within  .. days are something to consider about..

well, it's monday... which means, tomorrow is my first FRENCH EVALUATION.. nervous?! hell yah no doubt! but somehow, i miss this kind of feeling.. and I decide to just enjoy it! nail it! and Suck it up!! 

WISH YOU ALL HAVE A GOOD MONDAY!!

PS: H get well soon! and I hope you could finish your task flawlesly and come home soon

      Je t'aime <3  annnnnnd, why did you left your freaking Blackberry!?! xoxo

-A-



 

That "SOMETHING" (?)

Well,

reasons why I'm holding on to you

because...

There is something about your hand...

when its touched mine, my fear is gone

and when its all around me.

I feel really save..

 Then, There's something about your lips..

when it touched mine... 

i can feel something rushing through my vein..

that eventually stop the heartbeat ...

And your eyes,, something about them...

it always captivate me

move the nerve, like never happen before..

And all those something I'm talking about.. I have no clue about it at all.. I never see it coming... I try to flashback.. where did it start..? I found my self lost in nowhere.. and perhaps,. you're the only answer key.. 

-H's-

TGIF !!!!

well, eventhough I am not as excited as the baby in the picture about being in friday

but hey weekend is approaching.. :D

wish ya'll have a good firday.. So, we'll start the weekend with big pretty smile

and yep! let's have some "last friday night" and rock our saturday night!

ENJOY!!

-A-

I've been losing you

Dear HS,

at least opened up to me..

I rather be disappointed than wonder about what'd actually happen

with you, with me, with us..

it's really driving me insane..

...

A Walk to Remember

Hey all... well first of all I just wanna say sorry if this past few days my post been so emotional.. hehe :) yah, that's exactly what's happening here.. So I hope you guys dont think I'm such "emo girl" or what so ever .. I just wanna share :)

as the tittle .. A walk to remember.. I'm pretty much sure everyone know this movie.. again I admit it's a sad touching movie.. i just think about it somehow sometime during my lunch break.. one question comming accross my mind,

" which would be hurt more? when you lose somone because she/he passed away?

or, when you just have to leave him because the truth doesn't go well with you?"

yess.. again I'm talking about leaving and not leaving.. :) because this word been stuck in my head since I met this person, since I found that we actually different... since I told my self to not fall in love .. since he change everything with a blink..

"A walk to remeber"  I've said that to him after we had a very nice relax walk on saturday afternoon..

and  now....

Genuinly share

Inside this sincere heart, I know that you're the only one I want to be with

the one I only want to wake up with, and spend my whole time with

you make me feel someething I never felt

I don't know how you do what you do..

You took me by surprising,

'til i believe..

God created you for me and so am I

But HE has another plan..

Then, shall I go though love can not go?

...........

" And in another life, I would be your girl"

"And in another life I would make you stay"

sincerley

me..

Saturday Night share...

Okey! another sad Saturday night here.. again! So i guess i better spend sometime before i jump to my bed to wrote something... hmm I have nothing much to share actually,. well this week is a little bit different from any other weeks, I kind of put myself into some kind of trouble that could end up either worse or embarrassing... I don't know where the hell i get the guts to do it.. yeah call me crazy, playing with a fire.. But hey i need some "fun"..just see how it goes... but i didn't expect anything but peace in the end though.. 

Meanwhile, My friends been talking about this variety show from Korea lately.. called "Running man" and i was really curious about it.. so I watched it as well... Oh Gossshh! now I'm just like them who addicted to watch it.. it's very entertaining show, silly, lame, funny but overall it's awesome.. The bad part is we need to download it if we didn't have the TV channel.. and I'm one of those who have to download it.. and up til now i still can't download the rest of eps... :( so unlucky! i only have eps 1 up to 20 and i also get it from my friend.. so i never really download it my self.. :( and i just miss the show.. 

well since then, I've officially become a "Korean man" Fans, I watch this guy named Yonghwa on the show, and I also find out that he is a singer and very talented musician.. so.. I declare you all now, im officially number one fans.. hehehe :D 

and there's something about Korean language that make me interested to learn.. it's really cute! :p so probably next course is KOREAN hehe.. well i never thought that i could be in this moment now, where i find my self getting kinda crazy about korean boys.. but He's a thing and i guess he's worth it to be adore .. heheh <3 

 

I love the way he sing it.. and the voice.. it really melt me down <3 

I usually don't like this type of pretty boy, but there's something in him that caught my attention..

which is HE PLAY GUITAR AND SING VERY WELL 

Sigh* oke enough about my new idol, it's time for a confession that i only confess here..(yeah call me weird) well, i feel so Lonely nowadays.. and i guess that's the reason why i jumped to conclusion that im gonna do that crazy thing (i can't mention im sorry) but you just need to know, it's very stupid.. My life recently is all about movie and fantasy.. even pursuing my own dreams seems so impossible.. keeping my head straight and face it is not as easy as i thought ... it's very hard.. and hurting.. People said, i need more action.. well i will try my best, but when you're heart is still in somewhere else i guess it's really hard to focus on what people want not what we want.. but you can't always get what you want.. the confusion between wants and needs now playing around inside my head.. sometimes i talk and fight with my self,.. here I am in a massive confusion ever probably for my entire life..  i feel like now im really in the edge of breaking down... 

ps: sorry if the post is really messed up! i just wanna write.. what inside my freaking mind now...

adios peeps! 

True Convention..

There are so many ways in this world for you to make your dreams come true. Some people are just really lucky , so they get the most easy way and some people are just less lucky so they need to work harder to make it happen.. If we see it in general, it's normal this world always have " a balance element " and if we see it personally, It seems so unfair.. so talk about dreams... God give us this free mind to have dreams.. wise person always says dream as high as you can .. I have my dreams.. but it's not that easy for me to pursue it... sometimes i feel like given up every time I saw people who can accomplish their dream (which is exactly like mine) so easily.. even worst, I sometimes lose my faith, that there's a power that no one in this world can deny not even one single person... it's really hard to pull them all back.. but this is the fact~ I mean i should really wake up and face the reality.. and I did, but sometimes i feel like I'm so close to be there and suddenly something hold it back.. I know GOD has 3 different ways to answer prayer... so i should stay believe and try .. I don't know.. I think it's a punishment because i was getting far away from where i should be..this is the moment where i should face the people who fight together with me go more further.. and i just can watch.. and still wishing i wish someday ... i could be there too...no one could ever imagine how bad does it feel.. not even the closest person in my life.. but in the end GOD always know the best .. :)

Good Night! 

hope ya'll have a great Sunday... Because I DO :D 

xoxo

updating~

Yesterday is a crazy fun night I had with my girls and other friends.. we have a reunion.. and it's awesome!! we haven't meet each other like FOREVER. and it's really great to see and catch up with them... many differences I discovered from them, like we used to be an innocent little girl and boy and now.. all grown up~ the sad part is not everyone could make to the reunion because most of them still out of the town doing their responsibility as students and employees.. the day ended very well at Hägen-Dazs... we shared the fondue together.. and it was soooo great great desert we had.. we kept teasing each other the whole day.. I mean what could be more fun then that.. im sure there are.. but for yesterday, it was epic perfect!
After all, Thank you guys for made my day so fun at least I can start my Monday with smile on my face, cause you guys heal my stress..!!

THERE'S NOTHING BETTER THAN CATCHING UP WITH FRIENDS!! 

I am so in love with ya'll  


These are some pictures I captured by my mobile phone

and This is what we had last night!! thoughts ??? ;)

xoxo

love and peace, as always! 

see ya on the next post dearly visitors :D

ps: the next Saturday, would be another FUN!! I'm so Excited! 

The Truth is...

I hate the fact that your nearly halfway around the world. I hate the fact that i can't be near you, talk to you, get to know who you really are. I hate the fact that you'll end up meeting some beautiful girl. I hate the fact that i can't be in love with you.

Just go with it

So, I just watched this movie called "just go with it" and it's very sweet movie I can recommend to you who do love drama type of movie.. It's funny, meaningful and enjoyable movie..
Well, after watching it I realize that sometimes thing could just happen without even give a ring to us, in this case "love".. sometimes we don't realize that actually the person we're looking for is just right in front of us.. and sometimes we just need to let everything go with the flow and lead us to somewhere  we even never expect to find it..
So I guess, It might be an epic fun if we can find out our own mystery.. because our life is a truly mystery... :)
Best scene for me was when Katherine (Jennifer A) and Danny (Adam s) going out for dinner and start telling what they love about each other and seeing eyes to eyes.. sweeets! ;D


alright that's all for now
nights
and love! :)

Recall :)

Oh hello people.. its been quite awhile since last time I updated this blog,. well my birthday is passed but let share about it for awhile.. nothing really special about that day except the fact that GOD still giving me chance to live, pursue my dreams, a chance to be better person.. anyway, I did celebrate it in my office just with a cake and some cookies.. and share the happiness with everyone.. just anothe blessing.. . Ohh one more thing! I'm officially graduate too.. :D my july is really blessed and blast!! now I'm 19.. last age for being a teenager perhaps.. But screw that seriously.. so yah 19 single and HAPPY!! what could I expect more!

At the moment we're moeslem are having our precious month that most probably we waiting forthrought out every year.. anyway RAMADAN KARIM!!!

Ps: I update this piece in the office! Hehe..

Stay safe, peace and spread the love.. :D

Stress mode is FREAKING ON !!

I am getting stress and confuse with this whole thing...

but i guess i have no courage to step up and clear it...

i know walking away is not helping at all... 

OH LORD what am I suppose to do??

Passion~

This guy is AHMAZING .. 

and lemme tell ya'll, soonest, you will see me playing the exact same song.. ;)

I get my Violin back.. So now, I'll give out all the Passion i have about music...

and this is my choice.. 

weekend is approaching ! nothing excited about it.. unless TRANSFORMER IS FREAKING ON!!

stay peace and spread the love everybodeeh! ;)

Yeaaah Man !

clearly noted ;) 

It's July Everybody..

And finally the month I've been waiting is arrived.. There would be a hell lot of wish in this month.. But seeing the calender for this month ... well~ it's gonna be a busy month.. full working days.. holidays only on the weekends..oh good life! 

 like always I just hope for the best, in every single thing that will happen in my life.. all I know is.. it's not easy for me to make my life remarkable.. honestly till now I'm still looking for something I can make it Excellence.. So yeah, I hope I will find it anytime soon maybe this Month, who knows?,,,  So one word for this month......

So My July... please be nice..  

Have a good Weekend Fellas.. 

say NO to Regret! :)

This week is all about REGRET.. I've been thinking about it like almost everyday.. naturally, regret always come after.. it NEVER come before.. there are so much things I literally regret.. and I guess some of them will remain so forever... BUT i am very sure there are some of 'em I can still fix it.. so yeah! hopefully it'll turn out EXCELLENCE.. Anywayss.. talk about regret, everybody will make mistakes and then realize it and in the end REGRET IT.. So Regret is one of  the most common thing that happen in our life.. I'm 100% sure that everybody in this world at some point will feel it.. For me regret is the most uncomfortable feeling I ever feel.. It's like you can feel it every minutes while knowing there's nothing you can do about it already.. It's KILLING! BIG TIME! I rather feel a broken heart because a guy cheat on me.. like seriously.. it's more curable..but to cure REGRET, there are only 3 things, keep moving forward, be better, and forget about it..  and those 3 are tough deal!.. easy to say yet SO NOT easy to  do!.. 
Holding on to your regret could be a serious disaster for your life and future.. So please people, whoever you are, do not give up your life because of the mistake you made, if you screwed up once doesn't mean you will remain screwed up for your entire life, there are still time to fix it and there's always a second chance to be better.. 

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever.

"Every wrong decision is in fact a correct decision but taken at a wrong time so my friends don't regret... don't stop... keep walking ahead."

"

Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have."

last words.. don't be scare to make a mistake but it would be better if we prevent ourselves  from making a mistake..

have a good day ! 

love and peace! =)

Honestly saying~

There's nothing much to explain here.. because the song kinda explain a lot what i really wanna say.. oke i meant to say just somebody to love or to care.. i didn't mean a serious commit one.. =) truthfully, I just need somebody who i can lean on, share about something new and get that "attention" from somebody.. I thought i would be find with this so call "single life" but dear GOD these whole activities just make me need that "extra attention".. but well, the surrounding isn't really supportive.. I can tell you that.. 

see you till then...

just a reminder

Some people think that this life is always unfair.. but actually it is fair.. God create everybody in this world with different characteristics and uniqueness in order to complete each other.. no body is perfect.. everyone has problems and struggle with their life.. we are meant to help each other when one of us need a hand.. the strong will protect the weak, the rich will help the poor, the smart will help those who don't know become know and it goes like that.. God create us for reason, and whatever happen in our life it's been destined, but God give us a chance to be a person we want to be... God allow us to be creative and to express our self and change something that we really need to change to accomplish our dream... and one thing we should keep in our mind.. everyone has a different path to reach their dreams.. there's no point being stupid dumb person to hate people who are better than us in anyways, or to hurt people, to be greedy.. it's seriously pointless..what I'm trying to say is, open your heart and mind, let it free.. think that you are here for reasons accept the weakness and use wisely the strongest side of yours.. I know it's not easy to accept the bitter facts.. but that's colors of life.. life is like a wheel it always get round and round and round till the day..

" There's always a brighter day after the bad storm "

That's all for  now.. till then adios~ ;)

Spread love and Stay peace!

Smile...

random thought at the end of the week :)

People can tell you whatever they want to tell you, can ask you what ever they want to ask you.. but one thing you should remember, they don't feel what you feel, because they never been in your shoes.. there might be some people but not many, I presume. It's a common thing, where the weakest always get tortured by the strongest, the people who have power will dictate the people who are powerless.. and this thing not only happen between government and their people..it also sometimes happen in family.. ugly truth isn't it ? the point i wanna say is whatever decision you want to make, make sure it's purely yours not anyone else even the most closest person in you life or even they promise you with something big, it doesn't make you become a selfish person or stubborn .. because after the decision they won't be there.. you will be there alone get through it.. it's a lesson i learned.. and I don't mean to say that we don't need to listen to people's opinions, we listen and take it as an information that will help you to decide or direct you when you are lost..

oh one thing i wanna share... it's a bit... nah it's totally out of topic.. very different from what i said before.. but i just wanna share.. i think GOD really wants me to be focus this time, HE put me in the surrounding where i can't even have a FLING... hahaha! i guess HE save my Mr. RIGHT somewhere... lol!and that is why i freaking miss my college times ALWAYS... :p alright im out

busy week...

good night people

HAPPY SUNDAY

New Days

first and foremost ...I wanna say Thank God for giving me this opportunity to express and deliver what I had that you given to me, I just wanna make sure I won't let anyone who love me down including YOU.. It's truly a blessing.. You will never say NO to my prayers.. and I know that.. so once again THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Well, It's been a week I'm working.. and it wasn't hard as i thought..what I learned is, everything will seem so hard when you haven't try to do it or learn about it.. but after you did, whatever it is, it will be just fine cause you have a knowledge about it.. siiiigh* tired but enjoying it.. that's what i feel now... :) So yeah... that's all for today..

I'M OUT

AND WILL SEE YA IN THE NEXT POST... 

accidentally in reunion :)

they are my friends since i was in primary .. xx

It's been ages since we met each other.. and we finally met again Yesterday... and there's nothing really change.. except the fact that we now a grown up.. not a teen anymore I can say young woman :) It was fun.. bringing back the memories we had together.. :) it was just 3 of us.. and it could be that fun.. just talking.. Nostalgia to be exact.. and how if all of us,. sitting together and doing the same thing?? it would be an epic fun I can imagine..  :) 

and this is us ages ago.. :) 

and I hope there will be a time when we can sit together again... :) hopefully soon ... 

I think for now

Family gathering is a place for me to just forget whatever negative things that stayed inside my mind

get simple laughs from them, it's like a washed to all the bad thoughts in my mind

seeing, the cutest moment it's just incomparable..

for now...

I'm truly in love with my Big Family 

 

This is the old version picture of us 

 like 10 years ago ? i guess..

latest picture... last Hari raya.:) too bad i wasn't there :( 

Nice closing :D

My week closed very well,. I can say that.. I was having dinner with my big family in one of the oldest restaurant in my town.. We were having fun a lot.. especially "little nephew" was doing his funny things most of the time.. very cute indeed! unfortunately i forgot to take a snap shots... :( We had a good meals.. even though i just used braces so it's quite hard for me to enjoy the food but it doesn't count... the moment just too damn nice to remember the little irritating pain i feel.. doing a Karaoke time with my family is just a good thing to do in order to relieving stress or any negative feeling..

So two things can really boost my mood.. MY BIG FAMILY and MY FRIENDS

I ain't need big party to boost my mood, i just need simple laugh.. :)

A Beautiful Moment can be easily create with Beautiful people..

Start your day with a big pretty smile..

=))))

ps: I hope there'll be a good news on Monday.. work acceptance i'm waiting.. *pray*

We can't never stop or abandon someone to knocked our mind suddenly... 

It's true we can control our mind, but when it comes to the case, when we have spare time to just left our mind relax, sometimes the memory that you want to forgot just appear without any expectation.. it's natural and it's uncontrolled... 

So, I promise my self to just take it slow about "you" and just let it flow.. I don't want to think about it..

but today.. I just did.. quite constant.. 

Pathetically. I don't even know if I ever cross your mind...  

peace and love.. *  :))

EL- OW -VII -EE

James Morrison - Love is hard

Well, Talk about love.... I see some people fall in and out of love very easy... and on another side it's hard for some people to fall in and out of love... which side I belong to ? haha! I have no idea.. There are so many descriptions about love and there are also so many ways to show .. but for me love is a feeling that really can't be described, it's something you can only feel. It's about caring for somone deeply, and never wanting to let go. It's about thinking about them constantly, and no matter what they do, you can never stop loving them.Your completely comfortable with them. it's complicated, it's chaos and in the end LOVE IS HARD.. 


ohh talk about the song, it's very easy listening .. meaningful lyrics.. love the music and the voice no doubt because it's JAMES MORRISON! I always love his songs... =)

Good Night!